who’s got two thumbs and is a walking corey hart joke

Worked an entire night shift wearing sunglasses because I’ve got that thing where you can feel your eyes physically straining because of how much you’ve been staring at a computer screen, and since I’ve got sensitive eyes anyway, the sunglasses actually offer some relief.

Framed another way:

Super Cool Dude Wears Sunglasses During Night Shift, Earns Nickname “Shades”, Fixes Jukebox By Hitting It, Eyyyyyyyyyyyyy

very cold in my office: two pairs of socks, sweater, tuque, wrapped in a blanket. I have googled the phrase “typing gloves”. I tell myself that the cold makes me work harder, but then: I just took a tumblr selfie. workin’ hard down here. smell that? smells like work.

everybody needs a little TOUGH LOVE

There’s a KFC commercial that I keep seeing which I refuse to link to because that would require seeking it out. It goes something like this: “I’m a busy mom, and I don’t have time to make food for my family, so thank god I can pick up KFC on the way home! Now I don’t have to waste time in the kitchen! Thanks KFC, you guys rule!”

I yell at the television every time I see this commercial and start an out loud monologue, to nobody, about why it makes me so angry. So I’m going to write a self-righteous Tumblr post about it now. Sorry to anybody who actually reads this Tumblr, because this is happening, and like KFC-induced projectile vomit, you can’t stop it now.

Beginner’s Guide to Making Pizza Dough

1) Follow this recipe

2) While blasting early Purling Hiss

Foolproof.

New Shake Appeal this week tackles cosmic synthpunk (Trin Tran), cornball Southern rock (Natural Child), and Italian Nuggets (Sultan Bathery).

I dreamed last night that I was backstage at some huge event where I have no business being backstage, and Pharrell’s there and he’s like, “Here,” and hands me a stack of records with songs he’s never played for anyone else. And he smiles and walks away. And I’m like, “Whoa!” So I leave them in a corner under my coat, and when I come back, they’re gone, and everybody’s like, “Oh my god, you let Pharrell’s unreleased material get into the hands of thieves?” Then they kicked me out.

That’s how ubiquitous Pharrell is: He plagues my dreams. I don’t think he was wearing the hat, which is pretty shocking, tbh.

I’ve been loving Griffin’s “Overview” series on Polygon. They’re more loose in format than “review” videos, but still informative and genuinely entertaining. Basically, it’s just watching Griffin play new games while his brother periodically asks if him eating raw vegetables will fuck up their commentary audio. It’s sort of what it was like to play video games at their house in Huntington on 10th Street. Except with more “information”.

A few years ago, shortly after I got my car, I found a bunch of old mix CDs in my parents’ house and decided to just listen to them on a road trip back to Michigan, not really remembering what was on any of them. I just rediscovered this gem today compiled by my dear friend Michael Moore for my 2006 going away party before I moved to Chicago. It is, without a doubt, the most awesomely confusing, terrible/great mixtape anyone has ever made for me. Here’s the tracklist:

01 Bruce Springsteen: “Glory Days”
02 The theme to Team America: World Police
03 Gnarls Barkley: “Crazy”
04 Ike & Tina Turner: “Proud Mary”
05 Ram Jam: “Black Betty”
06 Ricky Martin: “Livin la Vida Loca”
07 Edgar Winter: “Free Ride”
08 Dolly Parton: “9 to 5”
09 Destiny’s Child: “Bootylicious”
10 Elton John: “Tiny Dancer”
11 Survivor: “Eye of the Tiger”
12 Fine Young Cannibals: “She Drives Me Crazy”
13 Missy Elliott: “We Run This”
14 *NSYNC: “Tearin’ Up My Heart”
15 Yes: “I’ve Seen All Good People”
16 Spice Girls: “Spice Up Your Life”
17 The B-52’s: “Rock Lobster”
18 Guns ‘N Roses: “Welcome to the Jungle”
19: Sugarhill Gang: “Apache”

I love trying to read an overarching narrative in this mixtape. A couple notes:

- Fairly sure that any song pre-80s on this list comes from the Almost Famous soundtrack.
- The GnR song is perhaps the most thematically fitting since I was moving to the big city, though I guess I had just graduated high school, so “Glory Days” was sort of appropriate, too.
- Since it’s sampled in “We Run This”, “Apache” is basically on here twice.
- Without fail, I laugh every time I discover the existence of this CD

Love and miss you, Michael Moore.